also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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