So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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