i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
