I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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