Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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