so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
