Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
