I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
This can only be settled by a dance off.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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