so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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