Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
