I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
