You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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