Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
