I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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