maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
