The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
