Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
