i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm sobbing to NWA
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize