So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How drunk are you?
Completed.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
