Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
