Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Dick very happy bro
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
