I forgot how hot balto sounded
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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