Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
