what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
