No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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