So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
