Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
