I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
