I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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