She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
