i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
