Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
