the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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