im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
