So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
