he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
