It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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