Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
