And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
