what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
