My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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