Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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