I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
