Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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