Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
