i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
