Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
