so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize