Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
