i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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