Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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