I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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