bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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