We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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