At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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