We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
