You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
