Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
