also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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