Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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