i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
