I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
