Why are handjobs necessary in class?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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