I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
